types of drunks

10 types of drunks and how you feel when you drink them

Always drink responsibly, knowing that this is what happens with different types of drunks.

1) WINE

Ideal for dinners out, weddings, and ceremonies in general, the wine gives you the most relaxed version of yourself and can make you look great with the girl if you can distinguish the good ones from the one that tastes like vinegar. You can get intense, deep, even smart, or a perfect jerk, but I guess that’s up to you.

2) BEER

I know guys. It is the official drink of the young man inside, of the rocker, of the one who wants to relax after a day of work, of the chronic immature. To get drunk on beer, you need a lot of them, so be prepared for exciting runs to the bathroom, burping in front of your beloved, and having a swollen belly even if you haven’t eaten anything. Sometimes you just need to stop drinking beer to lose weight.

3) VODKA

If you drink vodka and you are not Russian (or an elderly lady consumed by experience), know that sooner or later you will send one of those intense messages to your ex, of those that the next day you would like to behead yourself with your own hands. The worst voicemails, the most embarrassing emails come out with vodka. But the most horrible thing is the photos in which they tag you at 3.30 am and which you will remove at 2.30 pm when you wake up with an infinite hangover after everyone has already seen/commented/saved them for blackmail.

4) TEQUILA

After a dozen shots of tequila, everything you did the previous night will be canceled. Error 404 – file not found. If someone does not tell you about the evening, you will live forever in doubt.

5) WHISKEY

The drink of the lived man. Smooth, without ice, it boasts an absurd filmography of dudes who look cool drinking it. Alas, it also boasts the cliche of drunkards in American bars who are thrown out (taken for shirt and pants by two thugs and flown to the sidewalk) for bothering girls or not paying for oblivion.

6) GIN

The king of all cocktails. Gin tonic, Gin lemon, Gin fizz, Martini, Negroni. You know what happens, don’t you? You are the leader of the nightlife until you vomit your soul too.

7) RUM

The drink was chosen by pirates in general and by skilled dancers. It will make you dance as if it doesn’t exist tomorrow, the bad thing is that tomorrow exists and there will be someone to remind you of the collection of shit figures you made all night long.

8) CHAMPAGNE

To toast a meeting. Worldliness, the launch of the ship, aperitif (available in its economic variant “prosecchino”), communions, graduations, baptisms, even funerals. Or to do the cool that is not cooler. Only billionaires get drunk on champagne so don’t worry, it’s not your turn.

9) BITTER

The first is offered to you by the house after a hearty dinner. The second you drink after coffee. The third at the pub, the fourth at the party, the fifth is offered to you by your asshole friends to see where you can get. What is designed to digest, if abused becomes the viaticum for mega depression.

10) ABSENCE

Kylie Minogue usually appears in the green fairy version and you get sucked into a whirlwind. Or at least that’s what I saw.